How Conflict Escalates – Insights from Chris Wheeler and Lessons for Complaint Handlers
- Shiv Martin
- May 7
- 4 min read
I recently had the chance to reflect on the ongoing challenges of unreasonable complainant conduct with Chris Wheeler, former Deputy Ombudsman for New South Wales. Chris brings decades of senior leadership experience with the NSW Ombudsman, where he led complex complaint handling and dispute resolution processes and worked closely with Ombudsman organisations in this space. His insights into the nature of escalating conflict — particularly in the post-COVID era — highlight how complainant behaviour has continued to grow in complexity and emotional intensity.
Chris introduced me to Dr Friedrich Glasl’s conflict escalation model which I consider remains highly relevant today, helping us understand why some conflicts become so destructive — and how complaint handlers can better manage them. Glasl’s model outlines nine levels of conflict escalation grouped into three key phases:
➡️ Win-Win Phase – In the early stages, parties are still open to resolution and logical communication. Negative assumptions may start creeping in, but there’s still hope for a positive outcome.
➡️ Win-Lose Phase – As emotions rise, communication becomes strained, and parties start focusing on “winning” rather than resolving the issue. Complainants might escalate to manipulation, threats, and even confrontation.
➡️ Lose-Lose Phase – This is where things get destructive. Anger, hostility, and even violence become possible. At this stage, complainants may lash out at staff, escalate to regulators or media, or even threaten self-harm.
A common experience of the dispute resolution professionals that I work with is the perception that in the post-COVID environment, complainants are more emotionally charged than ever before. Increased uncertainty, frustration with institutions, and growing distrust in systems have led to more aggressive and persistent behaviour. Complaint handlers are now seeing higher rates of complainants making threats, escalating disputes to senior leadership or the media, and showing patterns of obsession and rage.
If you are a complaint handler, you might have come across some of these key Signs of High-Level Conflict:
️A shift from resolution to revenge️
Complaints about senior leadership to external bodies️
Threats of harm or violence (direct or implied)️
Attempts to damage the other party’s reputation or credibility particularly using social media or websites.
️So, what can we do?
There are a range of steps that dispute resolution practitioners can take, but taking care of ourselves must come first. Here are some broad suggestions:
✅ Early Intervention – Recognize and address the early signs of escalation. Responding early prevents the conflict from becoming unmanageable. Early responses should be simple and accessible. Consider phone calls or online meetings early to humanise the interaction.
✅ Clear Communication – Set boundaries and maintain professionalism even when complainants become hostile.
✅ Know When to Escalate – If the conflict reaches the destructive stages, external intervention (like tribunals or law enforcement) may be necessary. It's not worth continuing in phone calls and meetings with complainants who have moved into a harm or seek revenge state.
✅ Support Staff FIRST and ALWAYS – Ensure complaint handlers have access to debriefing and psychological support — this work is tough, and staff resilience matters.
In my view managing conflict isn’t just about resolving complaints — it’s about managing emotions and expectations. Understanding Glasl’s model helps us assess conflict levels, respond appropriately, and prevent unnecessary escalation. Chris has written more about this model in his article below:
Have you seen conflicts escalate like this in your work? What strategies have helped you keep things from getting out of control? Let me know in the comments!
❓ Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is Glasl’s conflict escalation model? It’s a psychological framework that maps how conflict escalates in predictable stages, from constructive disagreement to destructive hostility.
2. How can I tell what phase a complainant is in? Look for tone, language, behaviours, and outcomes they seem to be seeking (resolution vs. revenge).
3. What should I do if a complainant becomes threatening? Document everything. Disengage if unsafe. Escalate through appropriate organisational and legal channels.
4. Why are complaints more intense post-COVID? People are dealing with more uncertainty, more mistrust, and more frustration—often with fewer resources and support systems.
5. Do you offer training or coaching in this area? Yes. I provide training for complaint handlers and regulatory staff on conflict de-escalation, self-care, and safe communication strategies.👉 Contact me to book a confidential discussion or learn more
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Shiv Martin is a nationally accredited mediator, practicing solicitor, conciliator, decision-maker, and certified vocational trainer. With extensive experience in complex dispute resolution, stakeholder engagement, and team building across business, community, and governmental sectors, Shiv brings over a decade of unique and diverse expertise in Law, Management, Vocational Education, and Mediation.
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