Why Emotions Matter More Than You Think in Workplace Conflict

When people come to HR in conflict, they rarely walk in holding a clear list of facts and reasoned arguments. More often, they arrive in a state. Frustrated. Hurt. Defensive. And here’s the thing—those emotions aren’t just noise to be pushed aside. They shape how people think, what they say, and whether resolution in workplace conflict is even possible.

In a major review published in the Annual Review of Psychology, researchers Lerner, Li, Valdesolo and Kassam explore how emotions influence decision-making. Their findings are deeply relevant for anyone supporting workplace relationships or managing team tension.

Let’s unpack what this means for you as a workplace leader, team manager, or HR professional.

1. Emotions Aren’t Just Reactions—They Drive Decisions

The research shows that emotions are not afterthoughts. They’re not irrational clutter we need to remove. They’re core inputs in how people make choices in workplace dispute resolution.

This includes:

• How we judge risk (e.g., Is this worth escalating? Should I speak up?)

• How we allocate blame or take responsibility

• Whether we lean towards cooperation or defensiveness

In fact, people with damage to the brain’s emotion-processing centres can understand decisions rationally—but struggle to make good choices because they can’t feel their way into them. This tells us: emotions help people prioritise what matters, especially in conflict.

2. The Emotion Itself Matters—Not Just Whether It’s ‘Good’ or ‘Bad’

It’s not enough to know someone is in a “negative mood”. The specific emotion makes a difference in workplace communication and conflict resolution:

• Anger leads to a sense of control, certainty, and blaming others. People are more likely to make bold, risk-seeking choices.

• Fear creates a sense of uncertainty and lack of control. People avoid risk and often freeze or seek reassurance.

• Sadness reflects a sense of loss and motivates change—often through withdrawal, but sometimes through action.

• Gratitude can increase patience, generosity, and long-term thinking.

This helps explain why two staff members experiencing conflict might take completely different approaches—depending not just on their personality, but on how they’re feeling in the moment.

3. Emotions Spill Over—Even When They’re Unrelated

Someone who had a tense morning with their kids might unconsciously bring that frustration into a meeting. That’s called incidental emotion—feelings from one context influencing behaviour and decision-making in the workplace.

This means emotional undercurrents in a team aren’t always about the issue at hand. And yet, they still affect how people:

• respond to feedback

• engage in conversations

• interpret others’ motives

In workplace settings, emotional carryover can shape how staff respond to everything from policy changes to performance reviews.

“People don’t resolve conflict through logic alone. They resolve it when they feel seen—emotionally, not just intellectually.”

4. Emotions Shape What People Focus On—and How Deeply

People in different emotional states:

• Process information with different levels of depth

• Pay attention to different aspects of a problem

• Make decisions based on different goals

For example:

• Happy people are more likely to use mental shortcuts or “gut feel”

• Sad people tend to analyse more deeply

• Angry people may over-rely on stereotypes or assume intent

• Anxious people tend to overestimate risk and seek reassurance

As a leader or HR practitioner, recognising these patterns can help you reframe workplace issues, slow down the conversation, and offer the right kind of support. This is at the heart of emotionally intelligent leadership.

5. Emotion Can Be Contagious—and Strategic

Emotions aren’t just felt individually. They’re expressed—and picked up by others. In workplace mediation and negotiation, for example:

• Anger can push others to make concessions (but risks escalation)

• Disappointment can evoke empathy and invite repair

• Gratitude can build long-term cooperation

Authentic emotional communication can strengthen workplace relationships and team trust—especially in conflict. But beware: faked emotions are often detected and can damage credibility and rapport.

6. You Can Reduce the Impact of Unhelpful Emotion—But Not by Ignoring It

The review offers several strategies for managing the role of emotion in decisions. Here are a few relevant to workplace conflict:

➡️ Time delay Giving people time between an emotional trigger and a decision often helps them reset and respond more rationally.

➡️ Reappraisal Helping someone reframe a situation—e.g. “What else might be going on here?”—reduces emotional intensity and improves conflict resolution outcomes.

➡️ Emotion education Teaching leaders to spot emotional cues and understand their impact can improve their ability to de-escalate conflict and guide conversations constructively.

➡️ Choice architecture Designing conflict resolution processes that gently nudge people toward considered decisions—like cooling-off periods or reflection tools—can reduce heat and enhance clarity.

🧩 What This Means for Conflict Resolution

If you're an HR manager, team leader, or conflict resolution facilitator, here’s what you can take from all this:

• Emotions aren’t a problem to solve—they’re data to work with.

• People make decisions through their feelings—not in spite of them.

• Creating emotionally aware leadership and processes builds trust, clarity, and better outcomes.

When I support teams in conflict, I often see that the turning point isn’t a new policy or perfectly worded feedback. It’s when someone finally feels seen—not just intellectually, but emotionally.

That’s when the walls come down and meaningful change becomes possible.

Want to Build Emotional Intelligence into Your Conflict Response?

I run practical workshops and coaching programs for HR professionals and leaders to build confidence in emotionally complex conversations. From de-escalation to rebuilding trust—emotion is at the heart of it.

👉 Get in touch to learn more or book a free consultation.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions

1. Why should HR teams focus on emotions in workplace conflict? Because emotions directly influence how people communicate, make decisions, and engage with conflict. Ignoring them means missing the biggest drivers of behaviour—and resolution.

2. Isn’t it risky to let emotions into a professional setting? Not at all. Emotions are already there—they’re just often unspoken. Naming and working with emotions in a structured way builds trust and psychological safety.

3. How can leaders improve their emotional intelligence when managing conflict? Start with curiosity. Listen for emotional cues, pause before reacting, and ask questions like “What’s really important to you here?” or “What’s made this situation feel so difficult?”

4. What’s the best way to support a team member who's overwhelmed during a conflict? Give them time and space to calm down, then re-engage with empathy. Use strategies like reappraisal (“What else might be going on here?”) and structured conversations to reduce emotional intensity.

5. Can emotional education really change the outcome of workplace conflict? Yes. Teams that understand how emotions work are better at communicating, problem-solving, and staying resilient through tension. It’s a key part of modern conflict resolution.

📚 Read Next

→ De-escalating challenging calls → How do I design conciliation training for different organisations?

---

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shiv Martin is a nationally accredited mediator, practicing solicitor, conciliator, decision-maker, and certified vocational trainer. With extensive experience in complex dispute resolution, stakeholder engagement, and team building across business, community, and governmental sectors, Shiv brings over a decade of unique and diverse expertise in Law, Management, Vocational Education, and Mediation.