“There Is No Trust”

In most conflicts, trust is difficult to build but it can be the key to a lasting resolution. So how do I address important conversations around trust in mediation?

“There is no trust.” This was the statement I heard from one party several times during a mediation. The first time, I paused to see if they would elaborate but they continued with another topic of discussion.

But then I heard the same words came up again: “Well, there’s just no trust.” This time, I stopped and said, “Hey, this is the second time I’ve heard you mention the lack of trust in this conversation. Trust sounds like something that’s really important to you. Can you tell me—and the other party—what that looks like for you?”

It’s moments like these that really bring mediation to life. For those training in mediation, this approach holds an important lesson: don’t jump on hot-button words like “trust” the first time they’re mentioned. The reason is simple—words can sometimes just be placeholders or figures of speech. Pouncing on them immediately might unintentionally inflate their significance, derailing the flow of conversation and potentially making it harder to identify the real issues. Instead, listening carefully and waiting to see if the word resurfaces provides a valuable signal: it wasn’t just a passing comment; it’s a deeper concern that needs to be addressed.

When we stop to inquire the second time, it shows the parties that we’re not only hearing their words but are also attuned to patterns and underlying themes in what they’re saying. In this case, my question created an opportunity for the party to reflect and define what trust meant to them, which shifted the dynamic of the conversation. It invited the other party to listen differently too—no longer dismissing “trust” as a vague accusation but understanding it as something specific that could be acted on.

For aspiring mediators, mastering this balance between patience and inquiry is essential. It helps build rapport and demonstrates that you’re not just ticking boxes but truly engaging with what’s meaningful to the people in the room. So, trust the process—let those “hot-button” words sit for a moment, but don’t let them pass unnoticed when they reappear. Your inquiry can be the turning point that transforms the conversation into something constructive and actionable.

Q: How can addressing trust issues improve workplace conflict management?

A: In workplace settings, trust is often at the heart of many conflicts. For HR practitioners and workplace leaders, addressing trust directly can prevent further misunderstandings and improve team dynamics. A thoughtful inquiry into what trust means for each party helps clarify expectations and fosters accountability. This approach not only resolves immediate issues but also strengthens working relationships, creating a more collaborative and engaged workplace culture.

Q: Why is it important for regulatory dispute professionals to address trust explicitly during conciliation?

A: In conciliation, particularly within government and regulatory contexts, trust often reflects a party’s confidence in the fairness of the process or the integrity of the outcomes. Regulatory dispute professionals can build trust by ensuring transparency, maintaining neutrality, and listening carefully to repeated themes or concerns. By identifying and addressing trust issues explicitly, conciliators can help rebuild confidence in both the process and the broader regulatory system, ultimately achieving resolutions that are fair and sustainable.

Q: How can HR practitioners and workplace leaders benefit from third-party mediation?

A: Third-party mediation provides a neutral, structured environment where sensitive issues—such as trust breakdowns—can be addressed constructively. Mediators help guide conversations, ensuring all parties feel heard and respected. This process can uncover root causes of workplace conflict, establish actionable resolutions, and set the foundation for better communication and trust moving forward. For HR practitioners, mediation is an invaluable tool for resolving disputes without escalating issues to formal grievances.

Q: How can conciliation help resolve disputes involving trust in regulatory or public service contexts?

A: Conciliation is especially effective in resolving disputes involving trust in regulatory or public service contexts because it combines procedural fairness with problem-solving. Regulatory professionals use conciliation to address power imbalances, clarify legal obligations, and guide conversations toward practical solutions. By exploring repeated themes like “trust,” conciliators ensure that both sides feel their concerns are addressed, which not only resolves the immediate issue but also reinforces trust in the regulatory body’s role and processes.

Q: What skills should mediators and conciliators develop to handle trust issues effectively?

A: Mediators and conciliators should develop strong active listening skills, the ability to identify patterns in communication, and the confidence to pause and inquire when necessary. Training in emotional intelligence, neutrality, and procedural fairness is equally important, particularly for those working in regulatory contexts. These skills allow professionals to explore sensitive issues like trust without escalating tensions, creating space for meaningful dialogue and sustainable resolutions.

For further training in mediation and conciliation processes, or to book me as a mediator for your workplace or regulatory disputes, contact me today at contact@shivmartin.com or visit www.shivmartin.com. Let’s work together to build better conversations and resolve conflicts effectively.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Shiv Martin is a nationally accredited mediator, practicing solicitor, conciliator, decision-maker, and certified vocational trainer. With extensive experience in complex dispute resolution, stakeholder engagement, and team building across business, community, and governmental sectors, Shiv brings over a decade of unique and diverse expertise in Law, Management, Vocational Education, and Mediation.

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