# Table of Contents
1. Introduction to Negotiation: An Art, Instinct, and Skill
- Understanding the Importance of Negotiation in Everyday Life
2. The Unseen Lessons of Childhood Negotiation
- How Early Experiences Shape Our Negotiation Styles
3. Negotiation Styles: Cooperation vs. Competition
- Exploring Different Approaches to Achieving Results
4. Negotiation and Disability: Unique Communication Styles
- The Impact of Systemic Barriers on Negotiation Techniques
5. The Role of Experience in Negotiation
- Insights from a Lawyer, Mediator, and Public Servant
6. Case Study: Sarah and Rob’s Negotiation Journey
- Understanding the Dynamics of Communication in Disability Services
7. Identifying and Adapting to Different Negotiation Styles
- How Life Experiences Influence Communication Strategies
8. Engaging Effectively with Disability Service Clients
- Building Compassionate and Transparent Communication
9. Conclusion: Empowering Individuals Through Effective Negotiation
- Strategies for Inclusive and Respectful Dialogue Negotiation is an art, an instinct, and a skill. We are rarely taught how to negotiate in mainstream education and yet it is an indispensable part of all aspects of our lives. As children, we learn to negotiate by simply doing what works. We seek positive reinforcement, and once we make the connection between a particular negotiation style and rewards, we continue to use that style. For some of us this might mean cooperating, while others may be used to competing or demanding to achieve results.Â
Individuals with lived experience of disability will have also developed a style of negotiation that has served them best to encounter significant systemic barriers to their wellbeing and economic participation.
As a lawyer, mediator and public service officer I have learnt and applied different styles of negotiation depending on the context. The most challenging and rewarding negotiations that I have facilitated have involved the disability services sector. In this context, I have learnt that understanding why an individual communicates in a particular style is key to successful negotiated outcomes. Rather than preparing our own negotiation strategy, it is far more important to understand what style of negotiation our clients are likely to use and how their life experiences might influence their communication style.
Let’s take the example of a conflict between Sarah* the representative for her 17 year son, Rob*, and a large disability service provider. Rob had lived with intellectual disabilities since birth and Sarah had been his primary carer, while also caring for three other children. Sarah also managed her own disability while fulfilling her caregiver duties. In our negotiations, Sarah frequently raised her voice, interrupted the other side, and did not listen or answer any questions directly. To put it simply, Sarah could be describing as uncooperative, abrasive, and rude.Â
In facilitating the conversations between Sarah and the disability service provider, what become quickly evident to me was that Sarah was accustomed to a lifetime of communicating in this way to be heard and to have her son’s needs met. To Sarah, this was the style of negotiation that was likely to get her son positive results and so, understandably, this is the style that she chose.
For many disability service clients pleading and demanding has been the only way they have had their needs met. To others, avoiding confrontations and withholding information has protected them from revisiting the trauma of their past. In other cases, submitting to the commands of others is the preferred negotiation style, particularly where the relevant rules and policies may be too complex to understand. Identifying different styles of negotiation and why an individual chooses to negotiate in a particular way enables us to tailor our own communication style to connect effectively.
As disability service providers, we must be able to engage with individuals like Sarah in a positive, constructive and transparent way. Setting aside our own notions of how negotiations should be conducted and being open to a flexible and compassionate process starts by asking ourselves this one question: How can I help this individual communicate their needs clearly, openly and respectfully?

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Shiv Martin is a nationally accredited mediator, practicing solicitor, conciliator, decision-maker, and certified vocational trainer. With extensive experience in complex dispute resolution, stakeholder engagement, and team building across business, community, and governmental sectors, Shiv brings over a decade of unique and diverse expertise in Law, Management, Vocational Education, and Mediation.
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