Why do people say "Going High" Backfires in Negotiation?
Updated: 4 days ago
Learn why highball tactics can trigger defensiveness and damage trust and discover how interest-based negotiation builds fairness, confidence, and better outcomes.
As we move into the end of the year, many people find themselves preparing for important conversations. HR managers are closing out performance reviews, leaders are negotiating resourcing or workload expectations for next year, and staff are seeking clarity about pay, roles, or responsibilities. January also brings new jobs, new teams, and new expectations, which often means negotiating conditions or resetting boundaries.
This is the time of year when I spend a lot of time helping mediation participants prepare for high stakes conversations. A common question comes up in almost every session:
“Should I go high so I have room to move?”
It is a familiar strategy. Many of us learned it from cultural norms around bargaining, salary negotiation, or marketplace haggling. But in modern workplaces, especially in HR disputes and ongoing professional relationships, this approach can work against you.
Below is a guide that answers the negotiation questions people most commonly ask on Google, in negotiation skills training, and during mediation coaching.
Recommended Reading for Strengthening Your Negotiation Skills Over the Holiday Season
If you are looking for something practical and inspiring to read over the holiday season, there are two books I regularly recommend in my negotiation skills training programs and to clients managing HR disputes or complex workplace conversations.
The first is Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury. It is the foundational text on interest based negotiation and remains one of the most practical guides for shifting away from positional tactics and towards clarity, collaboration and problem solving.
The second is Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss, which blends psychology, emotional intelligence and real world negotiation strategies to help you navigate high pressure conversations without triggering defensiveness or damaging trust.
Both books are excellent companions if you want to strengthen your conflict resolution skills, improve workplace communication, and enter 2026 with more confidence in your negotiation toolkit.
What Is Interest Based Negotiation and Why Does It Work Better
Interest based negotiation focuses on the reasons underneath each person’s position. It is widely used in mediation, conciliation, HR training, and workplace negotiation programs because it supports clarity, fairness, and long term cooperation.
What Impact Does an Unexpected High Offer Have on the Other Party
This is one of the most searched questions online about negotiation, and one of the most important to understand from a mental health and organisational culture perspective.
Drawing on my background in dispute resolution, psychology, and workplace culture, here is what actually happens.
This is why interest based negotiation is central to mediation, leadership coaching, conciliation, and HR negotiation training. It aligns with how the brain functions under stress and how people build trust.
A Simple Preparation Checklist for Your Next Negotiation
This is the checklist I give mediation clients, HR teams, and senior leaders preparing for high stakes conversations.
What Is the Best Tip for End of Year or New Year Negotiations
If you are preparing for a negotiation before the holidays or stepping into a new role in January, here is the core principle:
Instead of going high, get clear.
Clarity builds confidence. Confidence builds trust. Trust builds agreement.
What Are Some Good Phrases To Start a Workplace Negotiation
I would like to understand your priorities before I share mine.
Can we start by discussing what each of us is hoping to achieve
My aim is to work out a solution that is fair for both of us.
Can you tell me more about what matters most in this decision
I have some ideas and would like to hear yours as well. Would you like to go first?
If you are preparing for a negotiation or a difficult workplace conversation, send me an enquiry and we can talk through the right support.
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